Sunday, September 21, 2008

Loads of 'y's !

It is with all the randomness that I can muster beneath my scalp that I sit down (in my chair, rather) to write this...this...this thing (cannot think of anything better), thoughts swirling inside my head like the winds of the two great howling cyclones (or hurricanes for the benefit of my readers of the West (if I have one)), that I have physically been through. I just hope that these famished beasts of thoughts do not gobble up my already 'gazelle-ish' neurons. The simple fact that I am frequently putting sentences in parentheses and parentheses in parentheses should give you some idea of what I'm talking about.

Why, I never thought that I could be this fatalistic! For a bloke who says "making whatever I do as interesting as possible", such a defeatist attitude is a strict no-no. But lo! Behold the irony of the Maker! Here I am, hale and hearty, hard-boiled and sardonic at times, god-forsaken and pessimistic for a wee little bit of time. It is some wonder that all these antipodean qualities can co-exist 'harmonically' inside the body (head, in fact) of a homo sapien (no gender difference...see!). I still wonder how I can have so many 'enemies' coexisting within a sphere the size of a football and still it does not blast into smithereens because of the sheer pressure of what is inside! At which point it begins to dawn upon me that the brain that made the atomic bomb can withstand a blast a zillion times more powerful than the hydrogen bomb! And it also dawns upon me that there are a frillion (this is a new word, frillion > zillion) such blasts happening each and every time I do (or do not do) something. They are happening when the angel and the demon within me pop up on either side of me and tell us their contradictory opinions about what I should do. And each time the opinions collide, its a blast. But the best part is that it works! This brain thingy of mine (and yours too, thankfully) still works!

Then why? Why do we have such fantastic egotism? What makes us think that we are superior? Why can we not co-exist peacefully? Why do all the situations we get ourselves into are necessarily catch 22? Why does each and every one of us, in spite of having the same 3 pound appendage at the top, seem to behave in a helluva lot of different ways to each other? I agree that I am no good at answering these questions and I also concede that all the 'acts' that I have posed so 'question'ably, I have done them myself. I confess that I am no Mother Teresa to do whatever and more than whatever I preach, you will think I am an attention seeker who asks 'erudite' questions to show off, and I am not trying to change the world single handedly. Why, I am a person who hasn't asked even a single question when in class or when needed to, and here I am, in a sudden 'question'able burst, asking some crackpot old questions for which there may be no answers at all! I don't know. I do not wish to know. Those were meant to be rhetoric. To whom? To me, to you, and to each and every person on God's Green Earth. What if we all started asking these questions to ourselves? How would the world be then?

Would the Cookie Crumble any differently?

1 comment:

sunita said...

a really profound introspection.......yes we do come across the demons hidden deep within :)