Sunday, May 17, 2009

Elections, Predilections and Predictions!




Five years ago. Same Month. Fat chance of even coming close to his elusive dream, that of resting his base in peace on that CM ki Kursi at least once. Few days go by. And Wallah! Whaddaya know? RedD did it! And so began the reign of Free Power, Feigned Dams, Infamous Scams, Boring Meetings, Lavish Airports, and yes, status quo on whatever Lunar Bob did about Cyberabad. Five years roll on. Present day. The oasis metamorphosizes into a river. The dream turns even better. Too good to be true! A second term? So how to live this too-good-to-be-true-dream for half a decade more? More free power to farmers, this time up to 9 hours a day, more lucky rains, more boring meetings, more 'no industrialization' and more rural em'power'ment schemes and airports with Mem Saab's family name. Greatest achievement in the first term? Well, he didn't let one Telugu Bidda's 'truth' spill over into mass hysteria about other Telugu Biddas, did he?

Lunar Bob spent five years plotting vengeance and hypocritically worshiping his late father-in-law. Now he can continue doing that. That and praying the rain god for no rains in the coming five years! Over the next few years, you will see Lunar Bob and his cronies develop innovative methods of using the tiniest iota of anything negative about RedD and publicizing it , like the length of RedD's whiskers, along with ground-breaking techniques to disrupt the proceedings and sanctity of the Assembly and 'decibelize' the place. There is no way Lunar Bob is going to allow RedD to do anything, not at least while both of them are in one room. And he might already be in the process of bidding for the 2036 Olympics in Hyderabad!! Surely, he will be back at the helm by then!

Five years ago, Ever Lasting Man had an idea. In every road show celebrating his movie's success he attended, people flocked in their thousands to watch him; just to get a glimpse of him. I am born for the people, he thought to himself. Four and half years roll. Fuelled by selfish flatterers and drawing together an assemblage of other-party-drop-outs, he tries put on a much hackneyed garb of serving the people. Braves the heat and roams the state with exemplary enthusiasm in the sole anticipation of becoming the King Maker. Imagine the mood swings he must have been through for the first few hours of yesterday, when everyone was predicting a hung assembly. Next five years? Very tough to predict. Will he hold fort and try to play a virtually non-existent and certainly much neglected 'opposition'? If he still decides to go back to fondling cute women on the Silver Screen, does the larger-than-life image he inspired still exist? Yours truly recently came across a picture of Ever Lasting Man 'consoling' an anthrax affected woman, an old woman, by maintaining a safe distance from her and holding her hand by her wrist with the tips of his thumb and middle finger, as if the woman's hand were an extremely exquisite and delicate goblet containing French Wine, and yes, there might have been an Arabian Carpet on the floor. Clearly, all Screens that glitter aren't Silver!

Spare a thought for the Centre! 5-Pass Singh is still the King and Red Face has been left red-faced!!! 5-Pass is the meekest man in India, a gentle genius, and an ideal man-to-be at Mem Saab's disposal. The author's prediction? Two Years hence, India would be in the hands of Mem Saab Ka Beta and, who knows, his Colombian girlfriend might just be Mem Saab's understudy! Iranians, Arabs, Mongols, British, Italians and now Colombians, possibly.

3 comments:

BRAT said...

Hmmm!! Interesting!

Pavan K Pandrangi said...

nice..nomenclature inspired by fake ipl blogger?

AB said...

Yeah...u hit the nail on the head...knew it would still be a repeat, but wanted to give it a shot anyway.